What's the first step to excellence? Admitting that you're stupid

I was 22 when I decided to attend seminary, just two weeks before the school year began. I was 5 to 15 years younger than most of my classmates and had no theological preparation, which meant I was quite a bit behind. So when it came time to preach my first sermons in front of the student body during chapel, I was woefully unprepared.

As you can imagine, my first sermons were terrible. After one particularly bad sermon, my preaching professor asked me, “Do you feel like you understood the text?” “Nope,” I answered, knowing I couldn’t hide the truth. He tilted his head back and laughed as he said, “I’d agree with that!” I knew he loved me and was rooting for me, but it was clear to all of us that my sermons stunk.

These early preaching experiences humbled me and caused me to look for ways to improve. I knew I wasn’t cutting it, so I read all kinds of books about preaching, asked older preachers what they did, and dissected sermons from the great preachers of the church, all to figure out what actually worked.

On the other hand, many of my older classmates preached beginning sermons that were considered quite good, at least for seminary students. They were much more polished, calm, and capable of explaining the Bible. Because of this, they got a lot of compliments, both from fellow students and professors, earning the coveted title of being a “good preacher.”

But as the years have gone by, I’ve noticed how this early praise has created an interesting phenomenon. It’s been fifteen years since I was in seminary, yet the people who were initially praised the most for their preaching have never improved; they haven’t grown, and they haven’t gotten better. They latched onto the identity of being a “good preacher” to inoculate themselves from any need to grow.

Why do I share this story?

While good preaching is admittedly subjective, I share this story to illustrate an important point that applies to all of life. Too much early success can stunt a person’s development, since it puffs up their sense of self and closes them off to outside help.

This is why I’m a big believer in admitting that you’re stupid. I have found that contrary to the self-esteem movement, telling yourself, “I am stupid,” is a key part of growth, whether it’s preaching or parenting or playing an instrument.

Why is that? Because if you want to grow, you have to be willing to admit your shortcomings and deficiencies. If you don’t, then you’ll never be open to getting the help that you need to improve.

So what does it mean to be stupid? To be stupid is to be ignorant about something; to have a lack of intelligence and sense. While we often use it as an insult toward others, it’s an important first step for us to realize about ourselves.

Why is it so important to admit that you’re stupid? Not to beat yourself up, but to come to terms with reality. When you start something new, you’re most likely ignorant about what it takes to become excellent.

But once you admit that you’re stupid, you’ll deflate your sense of self-sufficiency and will be open to other people’s help. There are so many resources out there to help you learn, grow, and improve. But most people never seek them out, since they have a prideful self-content and confidence in their current level of skill.

That’s why if you ever want to be excellent, you have to first admit that you’re stupid. It’s only when you’re honest about who you are and where you’re at that you can do the things it takes to get better.

The importance of humbling yourself

Now, telling yourself that you’re stupid is a humbling thing. Trust me. None of us likes to think of ourselves as stupid, since it feels shameful in our culture to ever admit that we’re inadequate. Admitting that you’re stupid is counterintuitive to Americans. Instead, we want to be a natural, the type of person who never struggles to be excellent at anything.

But the idea of a “natural” is a lie. Everyone starts as a beginner, and so we all need outside information, skills, coaches, teachers, and mentors to help us grow. And while you might have inherent talents and affinities, those won’t get you very far on their own.

That is what happened with my preaching. Admitting that I was ignorant of how to preach well freed me to learn from great preachers and resources. I turned into a sponge for ideas, books, and techniques to improve my thinking and communication skills.

That’s one reason why I found seminary so helpful; it broke me of my youthful pride and self-sufficiency and forced me to admit that there was so much in the world that I didn’t know.

This has been a key quality in so many areas of my life, allowing me to start my cleaning business in NYC, convert a van into a tiny home, and grow as a thinker and communicator. When I am willing to admit my ignorance, I can go find resources, whether that’s books, YouTube, or face-to-face conversations, to help me grow.

The opposite of admitting your stupidity

So what’s the opposite of admitting that you’re stupid? The Bible says it’s being “wise in your own eyes.” A person who’s wise in their own eyes is self-assured in their own thinking and unwilling to admit their ignorance.

While the Bible commends us to be wise, it says that being wise in your own eyes is the pinnacle of foolishness. As Proverbs 26:12 says:

Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Why is being wise in your own eyes worse than being a fool? Because when you’re just a fool, there’s at least a sliver of hope that you’ll wake up to your delusions. But when you’re wise in your own eyes, you become proud and self-satisfied, which kills any desire to admit your need for help.

The Bible teaches that we’re all naturally stupid because we’re all affected and blinded by sin. We don’t understand the complexities of how the world works, and so we respond in foolish ways.

People who are wise in their own eyes assume that they already know enough. This causes them to hate feedback, because they’re subconsciously afraid of being exposed. And so this type of person can never grow and improve; they rest on their laurels and are content with the past.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that worships the foolishness of youth, believing that young people are purer than “defiled” adults. But this isn’t right; when we’re young, we fall prey to ideas that sound good in theory but disintegrate when they come in contact with reality.

And so we must be confronted with our foolishness so we can break our pride and develop the humility necessary for the pursuit of excellence. Proverbs 29:23 supports this, saying:

A man’s pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor.

It’s not easy to admit your own stupidity, but it’s so important if you ever want to get anywhere close to excellence.¹

Where does this ability come from?

So how do you get the ability to admit that you’re stupid? It comes down to what you’re building your worth on. If you want to be able to admit your ignorance, you have to find your worth in God’s love for you, not in your skills, achievements, or what you and other people think about yourself.

When your value as a human being comes from God, then you can be honest about yourself. You can recognize where you don’t measure up and use that information to cultivate humility and reach out for help.

Unfortunately, we all naturally find our identity and worth in things other than God, which means we get over-attached to a certain skill or ability and refuse to admit that it’s deficient, lest our entire self-worth collapse.

But when we base our worth on God’s unchangeable love for us, we’re able to admit our shortcomings and look to others for insight. That’s the best way to grow, and it will help us be most effective with our lives.

The marks of a humbled heart

So how do you know if you have humbled your heart? If you’ve admitted that you’re stupid, you…

• Recognize that the world is much more complex than you initially imagined.

• Are open to feedback and willing to listen to criticism.

• Have an appetite for help from new resources, books, and more advanced people.

• Enjoy the process of learning, refinement, and growth.

“I am stupid” is a phrase that I remind myself over and over, not because I’m trying to diminish my self-worth, but to humble my heart and keep myself open to outside help. If you aren’t willing to admit this, then you’re cutting yourself off from important resources and relationships that’ll help you grow and improve.

1. I intentionally chose the word excellence for the title of this essay. Why? Because you don’t need to admit you’re stupid to be average or mediocre. You can coast on your natural abilities and do well enough to satisfy most people’s expectations. But I don’t think mediocrity should be the aim of our lives. God has given us each gifts and wants us to steward them well. We aren’t to do this to laud ourselves above others, but so that we use what God has given us to serve his kingdom effectively.